“This isn’t about bad people. It’s about unconscious people.” — Marianne Williamson

The state of our nation is heartbreaking.

A democracy that has endured — imperfectly but bravely — for nearly 250 years is being dismantled at a pace we’ve never seen before. Fear and hate are driving it every step of the way.

This is not new. The United States was founded on the marginalization of others: enslavement, abduction, and the denial of women’s rights.

Neither women nor Black people were protected by the Constitution. Women didn’t gain the right to vote until 1920. The Voting Rights Act wasn’t passed until 1965.

And yet, decades later, our institutions — supported by lawmakers and voters alike — still allow sexism and racism to seep into almost every aspect of our lives.

We live within systems built to privilege white men — systems that shut out women, people of color, immigrants, LGBTQ+ people, and working families, often without our even noticing.

I have been on the side of social justice for decades. And yet, I often catch myself feeling toward sexists and racists the same way they feel toward the people and causes I have worked to protect.

“You have very little morally persuasive power with people who can feel your underlying contempt.” — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

So I must ask myself — am I any different from them? Or am I, too, part of the problem?

Our brains are pattern-matching machines.

But ranking people from most to least worthy? That’s learned. We all carry biases. Not all biases turn into prejudice. Left unattended, they can wreak havoc in our lives.

Recently, Donald Trump said at Charlie Kirk’s memorial:

“He did not hate his opponents. He wanted the best for them. That’s where I disagree with Charlie. I hate my opponent and I don’t want the best for them. I’m sorry.”

I doubt many believe he’s truly sorry for that hate. And from the president of the United States, it’s especially dangerous. Words like these have consequences.

Author and activist Ta-Nehisi Coates reminds us:

“Love is a powerful force. Hate is a powerful force too.”

Ta-Nehisi Coates shows how far awareness and conscious effort can go in countering hate.

“This is the best set of white folks we have ever had in the entire history of Black America. This is the most woke, the least racist, the most aware group we have ever had.” — Coates

I think the same is true of men.

This is the ‘best set of men’ women in America have ever known — the least sexist, the most supportive, and the most willing to stand beside women as equals and leaders.

Coates also said,

“This is not a great time politically. But it’s not the worst.”

I agree.

Racism, sexism, antisemitism, homophobia, xenophobia — all stem from the same lie: that some people are more worthy than others.

When we lose a job, a home, or health insurance, it’s easy to blame someone else. But often, the problem lies in the system we’ve built together — or in patterns within ourselves.

We are not born believing this hierarchy. It’s passed down, generation to generation, reinforced by fear and a scarcity mindset.

When we don’t get what we want, when fear screams in our heads that we might lose everything, when scarcity convinces us we’ll never have enough — those are the loud voices of lack, fear, and doubt.

Those voices aren’t the truth. They’re just the noise that drowns out who we really are — and all we can be.

So how do we act from compassion and courage instead of fear and hate?

How do we turn that knee-jerk reaction into a moment of transformation — one that brings out the best in us — for the good of all?

Slow down. Notice your part.

Then ask yourself:

What am I basing my hate on?
Where did I learn this?
Is it possible I’m wrong?

Self-awareness is the first step. Then action follows.

Two ways to practice rising above bias:

• Go against the grain. Act in alignment with your heart instead — with compassion and courage — and let the results guide you.

• Reach out. Connect with someone from a group you’ve held negative feelings about. Extend a hand, a conversation, or a kind word. Notice how much better that feels than judgment or fear.

Women, people of color, and immigrants are not to blame. Transgender people are not trying to take anything from you. They simply want to live their lives — just as you do — free to be themselves.

They want that freedom for you too. So let them be.

When we choose courage over fear and compassion over hate, America’s best days aren’t behind us — they’re waiting to be claimed.

Because every time we free another person from our judgment, our bias, or our silence — we free ourselves too.

That’s how America rises.

That’s how we rise.