It's easy to feel regret when decades of life are behind you. Critiquing oneself is very much part of being a human being. Blame, shame, and guilt, however, do not have to be. That is self-imposed. So, let's un-self-impose it!

We all have pasts. We've all made choices we wish we could take back. We all feel hurt and pain, much of which we have caused ourselves, and sometimes, in the process, we have hurt others as well. Poor decisions and choices shrouded in guilt keep past mistakes alive. They keep us stuck and prevent us from living up to our full potential. 

Framing those poor choices and decisions differently can set you free. You can turn regrets into opportunities. You can embrace and learn from them, or you can continue to carry them like a backpack loaded with bricks. 

I'm not suggesting telling yourself lies to avoid accountability—just the opposite. I'm suggesting you approach your regret honestly and from the heart. In that space, you elevate your thinking and consciousness and now see an opportunity for expansion and growth before you. 

Instead of memories causing pain and suffering, let the power of memory be heartfelt and elevating. I hope my own example here can help you see that it's all in how you frame it. 

For decades, I felt like a motherless daughter, having lost my mother so young in life. I was 11 years old. That's how I saw it, or at least felt—like a motherless daughter.

As I began to study spirituality, a new perspective naturally emerged, one that lifted me rather than weighed me down with sadness and guilt. I remember the last time my mother went to the hospital. Out of fear, I held myself back from giving her the hug I wanted so much to give her and saying the words I wish I had been able to say. 

In time, it became clear that fear created a very limiting belief and attitude for me. How about this one instead of 'motherless daughter?' I was the daughter of an amazing mother for life. 

Now, I can speak of her with a smile on my face, not pained by the years we didn't have, what I didn't say, and what I didn't do. Instead, I feel uplifted today by the years we had together and thankful that she was my mother. 

Einstein said: "Life is like a bicycle; to keep your balance, you have to keep moving forward." This new perspective about my mother motivated me to move forward in a whole new way. Instead of feeling lack and sorrow, memories of my mother put a smile on my face. One path was depleting, and the other uplifted my spirit, energy, and life. 

The good news is, we always get to choose which perspectives we carry with us. Let the power of memory transform your consciousness and the present so that you can live your very best life. I know my mother wanted nothing less for me. She was fabulous, and sinking into sadness each time I thought of her, I did not honor her life the way I wished to or my own.

You get to choose as well. I suggest you ask yourself: How is that mistake, that choice, or a poor decision impacting your life today? 

An example: You stayed in a job, relationship, or situation too long out of fear of the unknown, comfort, being alone, what other people would say, etc. Well, where are you still doing that today? If you regret something in the past, it is likely that the behavior that created the regret is also a part of your present-day circumstances. 

I recently heard: "The past exists in the present. Transforming the present allows you to clean up the past." Brilliant. 

By taking the time to self-reflect on any regrets you have, with the power of the heart, you can transform them quickly. With your focus on the heart, take a few breaths as if your breath is coming in and out of your heart, and appreciate something in your life (a person, place, pet, or thing). Your heart will open wide. You might even experience a sense of expansion or warmth in the middle of your chest. Then, ask yourself:

"What would be an efficient, effective attitude, or action that 

would balance and de-stress my system?" (HeartMath®)

Then, quietly sense any change in perception or feeling and sustain it as long as you can. Your heart will tell you your next best step. Listen and then follow through with your heart's intelligence and intuitive guidance. 

Taking action today to disrupt a current behavior pattern that led you to make a choice you regret will support you in creating a more peaceful and fulfilling path forward. That's good work, and along with it comes forgiveness for self and others as you experience a heart-based shift in consciousness and perspective. 

The 13th-century Persian poet Rumi said: "The heart knows the way. Run in that direction."

No more regrets. Only lessons and opportunities await you for the powerful, fulfilling, and peaceful life you want and deserve.

The heart knows the way and will not allow you to live one minute longer with sorrows, regrets, and pain. That pain, by the way, is there to let you know you are in ego consciousness. With a shift to the heart, you move toward soul consciousness, which elevates you, your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions. 

You now see the spiritual and transformative opportunity before you, providing the necessary support to steer clear of additional chaos, confusion, and crises. As you shine a light on regrets of the past, what you did, what you said, and what you didn't do or didn't say, you can see the opportunities you have to clean up the past. 

Peace is on the other side of regret. Make a different choice now and watch the miracles unfold, along with the peace you've longed for.

Peace with what was and peace with what is. It's worth having and only takes a change of heart. Yours. 

Picture by Marko Brečić.