After two months of working with a jeweler in Spain to make a small gold heart pendant with my granddaughter's name inscribed, I received a text letting me know the pendant was ready to be picked up. I was so happy and relieved, as it had been a long, drawn-out process. 

Things move a little slower here in Spain than I'd grown used to in the U.S. Moreover, the language barrier made each conversation with the jeweler significantly longer and cumbersome. Google Translate is helpful, but we often found the translation puzzling, leaving us to wonder if we were heading in the same direction. 

Nonetheless, I looked forward to wearing the heart pendant with my grandchild's name and kept my focus on that throughout the process. Having lived in Spain for six months, I've learned that it will take as long as it takes.

Just seconds after receiving the text, my happiness and relief shifted to disappointment, angst, and anxiety—when I saw a photo of the pendant. I noticed how quickly my feelings shifted and what they shifted to. These were typical feelings when I didn't get what I wanted. I was very familiar with them at this point in my life and how they typically played out. 

So, I decided to 'Pause.' The pause quiets the noise in the head brain so we can hear what the heart (brain) says on the subject. Within several minutes, I heard this: "Will I be kind?"

All my questions for the jeweler and uneasy feelings about the conversation that would need to happen were gone. There was only one thing I needed to do. That simple question, 'Will I be kind?' clarified what was most important to me and my next steps.

It was very cool to look back on my day late that afternoon. My last Spanish class before the holiday break and tea afterward with classmates was so much fun. My walk to the jeweler was peaceful. The conversation with the jeweler was kind and respectful, and throughout the day, I didn't waste any more time or energy ruminating or fretting about how that conversation would go. 

I'm excited to see the new pendant the jeweler so kindly agreed to make, and I know it will not only express my love for my granddaughter. It will also express the loving kindness from which it was made.