Imagine feeling love for the 'other' political party. Love for the other half of the family feud. Love for those who denigrate your gender, sexual identity, race, or religion. Love for the former spouse who betrayed you. Love for the parent who left you behind. Love for those who waged war upon you. 

Sound too hard to swallow? Trust me. I get it.

And what if you (we) could? What difference might it make in your life and our lives collectively? 

It might mean we create solutions that diminish divisive times and legislation altogether. It might mean that a parent reconciles with their child before they can no longer do so. It might mean children have their grandparents in their lives and vice versa. And it just might mean that we never see another war again.

Most of us make decisions based on our life experiences and five senses: what we see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. Unexamined, however, this can result in a narrow perspective that can cost you the most important things: a job, a relationship, a marriage, your children, and your health.

When stress is added to the mix, we can become triggered and make highly reactive decisions that add more fuel to the fire rather than insight and understanding.

It is always helpful to remember Albert Einstein's excellent advice: "You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it."  

So what if there was another way to approach our differences, one sourced from a different mindset than the one that creates 'sides?' Imagine only one side, a unified body of people, whose number one intention is unity and soul.

When our intention is unity and soul rather than being right or defending or justifying ourselves, questions come to mind instead. Questions like: "What would life look like in their shoes? What would it have been like to be raised in that family, in that economic situation, at that time, in that part of the world, etc.?" 

Instead of anger and contempt for the 'other side,' you will most likely feel compassion, kindness, love, and appreciation--plus a greater understanding of the 'other side.'

So, how can we move to a new mindset, particularly in the heat of the moment? First, remember this is a process. It takes time, as does creating any expertise. So be patient and cut yourself some slack as you implement the process. When you mess up, feel gratitude that you are in the trenches doing good work, vital work, rather than blame or shame. Blame and shame are the same mindset and energy that create sides and the issue at hand.

Here are the steps I teach my clients:

#1: De-stress. I love the HeartMath® techniques and technology to balance the autonomic nervous system and shift from stress to ease and calm in seconds to minutes. Whatever method you choose, de-stress when it occurs, as that is when stress is most damaging. 

#2: Pause. Take a breath or two and say, "What a pleasure." Repeat that a few times: 'What a pleasure'—until the noise in your head is gone. Now, listen. Listen to your heart. The heart speaks quietly, so you must quiet things down inside to allow for your heart's intuitive guidance that always aligns with your intention, in this case: unity and soul.

#3: Restrict: make a conscious choice to restrict negative behavior patterns and reactions. We're moving to higher ground as we restrict and build new patterns that are positive and life-affirming.

#4: Listen rather than defend. Without an agenda, that noise rattling off in your head brain, you'll be able to listen to others and hear their true essence, pain, and sorrows with empathy and compassion (vs judgment and blame)—all requirements for building consensus and effective collaboration. 

#5: Take responsibility (100%!) for your feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, and words. Remember, blaming or shaming is the mindset that created the issue.

#6: Reaffirm your intention to stand for unity and soul ongoing rather than narrow and self-serving aspirations.

This wonderful game of life we all get to play is not an easy one. We will all experience pain in our lives. The question is, do you want to struggle through it or transform it? It's always a choice; your choice. 

I hope you will choose transformation. That's love, peace, and a shift from negative to positive energy—the best for you and all concerned. That's a win-win we could all use.

RISE and shine!

Laurie

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